The Chess Game

[Marvin]
That’s the king. Treat him nice
Use some brains; now protect him

[Whizzer]
Yes, I know
Here I go

[Marvin]
Play the game

[Whizzer]
Please, don’t watch me
I can do it!

[Marvin]
Have a little scotch

[Whizzer]
Shit, I blew it
Maybe you could show me where
I fear I’ve lost my head

[Marvin]
Do you want my help?

[Whizzer]
No, I don’t
I can think it through myself

[Marvin]
Start again. We’ve seen the worst

[Whizzer]
I’ll go first

[Marvin]
Move a pawn

[Whizzer]
No, sir

[Marvin]
Move

[Whizzer]
Where?

[Marvin]
There

[Whizzer]
Here?

[Marvin]
Move a pawn

[Whizzer]
Who?

[Marvin]
Not the queen

[Whizzer]
Who?

[Marvin]
Jesus

[Marvin & whizzer]
Life’s a sham and
Every move is wrong
We’ve examined
Every move as we move along

[Marvin]
Winning is everything to me

[Whizzer]
Nothing is everything to me

[Marvin]
Winning is everything to me

[Whizzer]
Nothing is everything to me
Except sex

[Marvin]
Move a pawn

[Whizzer]
And money

[Marvin]
Good first move

[Whizzer]
Quite alright
Take a turn

[Marvin]
Thank you kindly

[Whizzer]
Move the pawn
Move the pawn
Take my hand
Play the game

[Marvin]
God you’re pretty

[Whizzer]
More’s the pity
Since you need a man

[Marvin]
What?

[Whizzer]
Who’s brainy

[Marvin]
Or

[Marvin & whizzer]
Witty

[Marvin]
Move

[Whizzer]
What should I do now?

[Marvin]
Move

[Whizzer]
Where?

[Marvin]
There

[Whizzer]
How should I behave myself?
Maybe we should call it quits

[Marvin]
This game shits

[Whizzer]
Let me win

[Marvin]
Yes, sir

[Whizzer]
Please

[Marvin]
Yes

[Whizzer]
Thanks

[Marvin]
Wait!

[Whizzer]
Whizzer wins!

[Marvin]
Wait!

[Whizzer]
Whizzer wins!

[Marvin]
Wait!

[Whizzer]
Checkmate!

[Marvin & whizzer]
Life’s a sham and every move is wrong
We’ve examined every move as we move along

[Whizzer]
Marvin…!
Whizzer’s supposed to make the dinner
Be a patsy, lose at chess
Always bravely acquiesce
Clip the coupons, make the dinner
And love him
This has got to come to a stop, marvin

[Marvin]
This had got to come to a stop, whizzer

[Whizzer]
This has been a lousy but

[Whizzer & marvin]
Fabulous flop

[Marvin]
Anyone understand?
All I want’s a kiss
Anyone understand?

[Whizzer]
Don’t start explaining
I’m sick of explaining

(Marvin) and [whizzer]
And this had better come to a stop
(Whizzer) [marvin]
Now, (whizzer) [marvin]
Ciao, (whizzer) [marvin]
Bend
This had better come
This had better come to a
This, this, this, this

[Whizzer]
This had better come to an end

[Marvin]
This had better come to an end

[Marvin & whizzer]
This had better come to an end