One Night Stand

Well, I got home this morning and everything was gone
The only thing she left me were the clothes that I got on
And yeah, we used to fuss and fight but I never thought it’d come to this
So I did what any broke guy would do and jumped on Craigslist

I said I need a couch and a fridge and a mattress
Could ya help an ol boy out if ya have it
Yeah, I need a lamp, shower curtain and a microwave
I don’t need the whole table, just a TV tray
If ya got one laying around

I’ll take anything that makes a sound
Cause she took all the records and the player too
If it works, that’ll work… It ain’t gotta be new
Since she’s gone, I don’t need one on each side of the bed
Naw, I just need one night stand
Naw, I just need one night stand

Well, I got a call from a guy said he just saw my ad
Said he threw his Lay-Z-Boy in the alley so I made a mad dash
And on my way to pick it up
I got a random text from a lady
She said I just saw your post
My husband’s s’posed to leave the house around 8ish
I thought aww naw this ain’t good
That poor ok gal musta misunderstood

I just need a couch and a fridge and a mattress
Could ya help an ol boy out if ya have it
Yeah, I need some soap, shampoo and some cutlery
And man, the whole damn house could use some potpourri
And if there’s anything cool in your basement

Chances are, man, I got space for it
And if ya got a Big Mouth Billy Bass I can talk to
Man, you oughtta let me help you out
I can take it off your hands
Yeah, I just need one night stand
Yeah, I just need one night stand

Man, I just need all this stuff
Cause I’m about to start my life without her
I just wish that I’d quit getting all these pop-ups from the Casual Encounters

I said I need a couch and a fridge and a mattress
Could ya help an ol’ boy out if ya have it
Yeah, I need a lamp, shower curtain and a microwave
I don’t need the whole table, just a TV tray
And if ya got one laying around
I’ll take anything that makes a sound

‘Cause she took all the records and the player too
If it works, that’ll work… It ain’t gotta be new
And since she’s gone
I don’t need one on each side of the bed
Naw, I just need one night stand
Yeah, I just need one night stand
Somewhere I can put this yellow lava lamp
Yeah, I just need one night stand