Spoilt For Choice

You’ll only ever be as good as the dumbest things you’ve done
And you’ll keep replaying all those arguments you never won
And you’ll never “see the light” if you’ve been staring at the sun
I’m as bad as you are when it comes to all these things
Trading rationale for shooting stars and magic beans
And we’ll cradle up our secrets like they’re worth their weight in dreams

But it is what it is, not what it could or should have been
And for all it is, it ain’t what it was
Searching for cause in an endless reasoning
When the reason is, well, it’s just because

I remember that abandonment, I still feel it in my face
The muscle memory pokes my cheeks with blissful laughing aches
The fatiguing fits are gone now, but I guess the smile won’t fade
It’s easy to be let down if you’re casting out too far
And yes it’s hard to be yourself if you don’t know who you are
Always want to wish upon that never-falling star

Hands tied like a hog, tired & teared up like a child
Clenching your hands into fists
There’s down turned and twinkless wrinkles in your eyes
And I know it doesn’t seem so, but there is

I was dead when I was young, I’ll be just as dead too when I’m old
Ever since the burning passion charred & became a scarring scold
Now I’m cursing at the staring sun, just wishing it was cold.

So much more than what it takes to survive
It’s all sorting the men from the boys
Spent my days feeling like I was so damn deprived
When all these years I’ve just been spoilt for choice
How could I not have seen I was spoilt for choice?